Sunday 30 January 2011

Where I wonder if "The Great Outdoors" is, well...you know, Great

Contentment is being tucked up in bed on Sunday morning,  looking out at cold grim day with certain degree of smugness, duvet tucked under chin, electric blanket set on high, waiting for tea, toast and Sunday papers to be brought by husband.
He returns from kitchen with tray and says "You know what this would be the perfect day for...."
"Lying in front of fire, (albeit a 3 bar electric in my rented house) watching favourite movies and polishing off the remains of the Christmas chocolates?" I say, thinking of half full box of Roses somewhere in cupboard.
"No, no," he says shaking his head testily, the way he does when he thinks he's dealing with a complete imbecile, "I thought we could go for a walk up on Hadrian's Wall."
"What? Today?"
"Why not? It'll do you good to get out in the fresh air, away from writing stuff," he says, "and it's the perfect day for it, there won't be many other people there."
"Yes," I say, arms folded across chest, "that is because 'many other people' have not gone completely bonkers."
"I went shoe shopping with you yesterday, he says, "I didn't complain once."
An hour and a half later I am in  car park  of  Housestead's Roman Fort strapping on boots same as divers wear for deep sea exploration. As I look up at mist shrouded hill, Radio 2 DJ helpfully plays "Chariots of Fire" and we set off up steep incline.
"Last time I did a walk like this it was sponsored." I say huffily.
"Yes and it was probably in 1976." husband says meanly. (I blame that Julia Bradbury and her outdoor programmes, husband is big fan, she has much to answer for).
We are the only English speaking people there, everyone else has come from abroad and probably feel they may not have another opportunity to visit. All locals are probably in front of log fire in quaint pub we passed on the way. Even sheep are huddling together for warmth.
Finally, after examining piles of rubble, it begins to snow and husband allows retreat to cafe.  As we descend, I am comforted by thought that if I don't make it to base camp, at least when they find my cold stiff body in wilderness, I am wearing my new outfit from the Winter Joules catalogue.

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