Where I come a cropper with Co-op Dairy truck

Had disastrous afternoon yesterday! Was parked out side the grocery store in our village and when I came out with shopping, found a delivery truck had parked across the back of my car and the others in the row, neatly hemming us in. Only one bag of shopping, so threw on front seat and decided that I would be able to just squeeze out behind truck as I was at the end of row and there was a big enough gap.  Began to reverse and heard horrible crunching of metal and car shuddered to a halt. Got out to find that tail gate for delivery truck had been left down and as it's below the level of back window, I didn't see it. It was now wedged firmly inside my boot and there was a scrunched up piece of  metal, a tangled mass of wires and broken glass where the bumper and rear lights used to be. Aaargh! Worse the truck driver returned to load the rest of his dairy products to find a tsunami of double cream, cheese and milk pouring down the street from the crushed cartons. Large audience assembled from bakers and post office as I embarked on massive clean up operation with helpful grocery store staff  who fetched brooms and endless buckets of hot soapy water. My once lovely red suede shoes now look like raspberry ripple.
Driver of truck was very cross, said I'm not fit to be let out and took my address to send bill for damaged goods.  Decided best plan was to find out repair costs before ringing insurance company and worse confessing to The Husband. So limped what was left of car straight along to Frank's car body shop for estimate. Frank rubbed chin, in usual fashion, shook his head  and said "Ooh, dearie me, this could be expensive love," (sounded eerily like the plumber, electrician, or washing machine repair chap) "you'll need a new bumper, rear panel, brake lights, boot lid, blah blah blah."  Switch off when he mentioned that car will need to be in body shop for a week for respray, nearly pass out when he gives me total, which sounds like Christmas bonus for flash city banker.
Called insurance company and man said "please wait a moment while I get your file up on computer." There was a pause and them  I'm sure I could hear muffled sniggering.  "I'm afraid this will  affect your premiums, as this is your second incident in less three months."
"I'm sure loads of other people have problems with faulty handbrake's," I said defensively.
"Yes, just unfortunate you happened to be parked on top of such a steep hill, on the ice, overlooking a stream," he said.
(I was up in Hardrian's Wall country and got out of car to take quick photos for Christmas card. My advice dear reader, is never trust an electronic handbrake, at least with an old fashioned lever you can see it's on).

Needless to say The Husband had hissy fit and says he's going to buy me a Chieftan tank regardless of where  we are living. So am driving the loan car which smells like an ashtray and stalls at every opportunity.  Have been warned by The Husband, under fear of certain death not to cause any damage to it. Not like the last time, which wasn't fair, when the number 17 bus... oh got to go, tell you later...