Either I have gone deaf or it's raining. I know this for certain because it's 11 o'clock on Sunday morning and there's no yelling coming from the park, which we overlook from the house we are renting.
"It's raining," the husband says, bringing the breakfast tray and proving the point, "and can you give Tasha a ring back when you're a bit less grumpy."
I may be a little tetchy this morning because we were at Tasha and Charlie's for birthday bash last night and got home just after midnight. Whereas at twenty something I would do shift in nightclub as cocktail waitress, get home at 2.00pm and still go to work for 8.30am, now I need a week in rehab.
I was very well behaved yesterday. "Instead of buying a new outfit, I've decided to wear old faithful black pencil skirt and angora sweater," I told The Husband who is sceptical, as he says any money saving idea I have, usually ends up costing him a fortune.
I did however need new bra to go under sweater which is quite fitted, so I made an excursion to Primark, where I have bought quite a few bits and bobs on my Job Seekers Allowance. Even if I say so myself, my purchase definitely did the job, made the old cleavage look quite perky and even drew an admiring glance from The Husband.
"Must remember, I'm taking Nessie," I told The Husband.
(You may remember last week's fiasco when he mistakenly took my cheap Cava from fridge instead of vintage champagne to Charlie and Tasha's engagement celebrations, causing much merriment from the other guests.The Husband nicknamed it 'Nessie' after the legend of the loch, as he's never been allowed to get near it).
He offered to retrieve if from fridge, "Not a chance," I said, "I'll get it myself, just to make sure."
When we arrived I handed it over and Tasha was suitably delighted, "smashing, I'll open it later,when alone with Charlie and we can enjoy it properly," she said tucking it away in their fridge.
Amongst the lovely guests we met the mother of a Hollywood film director. He was born in Newcastle and she was regaling everyone in earshot with tales of his successes, how she's just gotten a Jaguar for her birthday, how she's always on location for one of his films when she's not in LA visiting his palatial mansion.
"She's become totally obnoxious," Charlie agreed "I used to go to school with her son Mark, she knows my mum and sort of invited herself along tonight. Strangely enough, Mark's actually very nice, not changed at all really."
"God she's so rude." Tasha said, when I called her back this morning, "She was complaining that the loo was too cold for her too use and and that someone had put their handbag on top of her mink coat on the bed.
"Did you get to eventually drink the Champagne?" I say.
"Well that's the worst part, she found it in fridge, said that was all she was used to drinking these days and glugged down the entire bottle."
Grrrrr! Better not tell The Husband about Nessie's Nemesis"
"And," she says, "you won't believe this, just after you'd gone she said very grandly, "I've spent enough time in Hollywood to know a boob job when I see one and that blonde woman's are definitely silicone."
"Gosh," I say taken aback, thinking it was just as well she couldn't see me this morning in my pyjama's, au naturel, without last night's 'D' cupped, feat of engineering shoring up the upholstery.
"Mind you Fee, in fairness you did look quite voluptuous, must be the gym." Tasha says.
"More likely to be good old Primark," I tell her, "best £3 I ever spent."
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