Before leaving for work this morning, The Husband recited his ever growing list of pre-requisites for the purchase of any property, which include being well away from the river, not being in need of a new roof, kitchen or bathroom "and" he adds finally wagging his finger "absolutely and definitely not a new bridge."
Ah, yes, forgot to tell you about the bridge. Earlier this month we went to see a Georgian stone built house that looked really picturesque on the internet but was approached by a lane that crossed over a rickety bridge.
"That's about to keel into the stream," The Husband said pulling up just before the water's edge, getting out and stamping his foot on the rusting iron. "Postman Fred would baulk at that on his bicycle. Won't even take the car's weight, never mind the furniture delivery van. I can just see Bob and his removal boys being delighted at having to heave your dining room table and sofas, the last half a mile to the house, especially up that slope." So that was that. The more houses we see, the longer the list of "Make sure it's not this and that" gets.
"Just make sure it's not too close to the main road and won't be in earshot of the park," he said this morning. "I want peace and quiet, so I don't want to be overlooking a main footpath, where you can hear everyone's conversation, as you can in this house."
"Yes dear." Hate to admit it but he's right, more about eavesdropping later.
Ah, yes, forgot to tell you about the bridge. Earlier this month we went to see a Georgian stone built house that looked really picturesque on the internet but was approached by a lane that crossed over a rickety bridge.
"That's about to keel into the stream," The Husband said pulling up just before the water's edge, getting out and stamping his foot on the rusting iron. "Postman Fred would baulk at that on his bicycle. Won't even take the car's weight, never mind the furniture delivery van. I can just see Bob and his removal boys being delighted at having to heave your dining room table and sofas, the last half a mile to the house, especially up that slope." So that was that. The more houses we see, the longer the list of "Make sure it's not this and that" gets.
"Just make sure it's not too close to the main road and won't be in earshot of the park," he said this morning. "I want peace and quiet, so I don't want to be overlooking a main footpath, where you can hear everyone's conversation, as you can in this house."
"Yes dear." Hate to admit it but he's right, more about eavesdropping later.
"Also, I don't want to live near the bus stop, Brenda's Fish 'n' Chips or The Queens Arms', especially now it's become a tourist attraction." he said as he was walking out the door.
He has a point. The Village is rife this week with gossip over the new sign at The Queens Arm's. It was recently taken over by the current owners, who have spent a fortune in refurbishing the inside, according to the press. Many village residents thought that this would be a good thing, as the building had been standing derelict for some time. So it created quite a lot of breathless anticipation on the run up to the opening, a week or so ago. You must remember that we get excited if someone steals a bicycle headlight, grows a bigger than normal size root vegetable, gets a gold rosette for their most handsome sheep or wins the WI best fruit cake in show.
However it is the new sign at the pub which has caused a furore and divided the village. It has even made headlines news in the local paper, with a picture of The Mayor himself standing underneath the new swinging artwork in protest.
Formerly, The Queens Arms sign depicted a traditional painting of an English Queen wearing a crown and historic dress with a tasteful coat of arms beneath, as seen gracing Inn's the length and breadth of the land.
This has now been replaced with a delightful cartoon of our present Monarch wearing a cap sleeved 'T' shirt that reveals well muscled biceps. She has her arms folded and on on her left forearm she sports a Hells Angel's style tattoo which reads "Philip." In the Newspaper one elderly villager says he's "jolly cross" and another says "it's very disrespectful. In my day it would have been treason and the perpetrators would have been taken out and shot." Of course some of the teenage residents think it's funny or less stuffy.
"She looks more friendly now,bit like me Nan," one said. "Nice tattoo n'all, me Nan's well impressed, she's thinkin' of gettin' one of me Grandad's name done except it'll have to be higher up her arm, above the snake and dagger."
The owner of the pub maintains that any likeness to a member of the Royal Family is purely a coincidence.
"It's actually a picture of my mother," he is quoted as saying "everyone is always telling me how much she looks like The Queen."
And the reference to Philip? the reporter asked.
"Oh that's my dad." He said.
Any way as we drove up the main street Mum said "Oh heaven's look at The Queens Head, and all those noisy fruit machines," she says pointing through the window "its just awful, the pub's ruined."
Just as I spot the 'For Sale' sign on the delightful little white washed cottage right next door. Oh, Oh, another one bites the dust...
Formerly, The Queens Arms sign depicted a traditional painting of an English Queen wearing a crown and historic dress with a tasteful coat of arms beneath, as seen gracing Inn's the length and breadth of the land.
This has now been replaced with a delightful cartoon of our present Monarch wearing a cap sleeved 'T' shirt that reveals well muscled biceps. She has her arms folded and on on her left forearm she sports a Hells Angel's style tattoo which reads "Philip." In the Newspaper one elderly villager says he's "jolly cross" and another says "it's very disrespectful. In my day it would have been treason and the perpetrators would have been taken out and shot." Of course some of the teenage residents think it's funny or less stuffy.
"She looks more friendly now,bit like me Nan," one said. "Nice tattoo n'all, me Nan's well impressed, she's thinkin' of gettin' one of me Grandad's name done except it'll have to be higher up her arm, above the snake and dagger."
The owner of the pub maintains that any likeness to a member of the Royal Family is purely a coincidence.
"It's actually a picture of my mother," he is quoted as saying "everyone is always telling me how much she looks like The Queen."
And the reference to Philip? the reporter asked.
"Oh that's my dad." He said.
Any way as we drove up the main street Mum said "Oh heaven's look at The Queens Head, and all those noisy fruit machines," she says pointing through the window "its just awful, the pub's ruined."
Just as I spot the 'For Sale' sign on the delightful little white washed cottage right next door. Oh, Oh, another one bites the dust...
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