The last position I applied for a month ago, was to answer the telephone and take orders for a group of companies. After three tests suitable for entry to Mensa, I failed to meet their exacting standards.
Last week I saw a job advertised on the internet that involved working for an an American organisation. They have a portfolio of clients that require written work for their websites but don't have the in house skills to do it themselves. To qualify you had to send in your resume and a sample of work. I discovered that a Resume is somewhat different from our CV in that it is shorter and you can blow your own trumpet.
"I have been working as a neuro surgeon whilst completing my Commercial Pilots license. In my spare time I am a Supreme Court Judge in Florida and raised two million dollars for an Orphan's Charity last year."
"I have to explain how to complete a simple task," I said to the husband.
"What sort of thing?"
"They give an example, "How to paint a ceramic mug."
"Mug painting eh?" Sounds exciting, this writing malarkey."
"They want to see if you're logical and concise," I said, getting irritable.
"Hmmm," said The Husband, "both qualities I never knew you possessed, especially when I see the Saturday morning shopping list. What begins as a stroll to the corner shop to buy the newspapers and a carton of milk becomes a twenty mile round trip in the 4x4, with a trailer and visa card."
"I will write about a DIY project ," I said confidently.
I should be all right with that. In our last house I was at the local DIY centre so often I got invited to the staff Christmas party.
"Are you sure that's a good idea?"
"I'm quite good at painting," I said.
"Hah, maybe in the dockyards painting the sides of ships," The Husband said, "then you can lash it on and no one will have to clean up the mess."
Warming to the theme, he started to get on his high horse "remember what happened the last time you took a tub of paint up ladders to do the dining room ceiling in our old house?"
"OK, so a ten gallon drum may have been a bit big but I hate wasting time getting up and down and how was I to know the steps had a weak leg?" I said. "Any way, it worked out all right in the end, all went together."
"Yes if you like your white ceiling to match the walls, floor,doors, fireplace, Chinese rug, Victorian dining table and twelve balloon back chairs." He fumed. "It was like some weird Arctic camouflage scene, just as well you put a vase of flowers on the side board or I would never have found the Gin."
I began typing-
How to hang wallpaper
"I will write about a DIY project ," I said confidently.
I should be all right with that. In our last house I was at the local DIY centre so often I got invited to the staff Christmas party.
"Are you sure that's a good idea?"
"I'm quite good at painting," I said.
"Hah, maybe in the dockyards painting the sides of ships," The Husband said, "then you can lash it on and no one will have to clean up the mess."
Warming to the theme, he started to get on his high horse "remember what happened the last time you took a tub of paint up ladders to do the dining room ceiling in our old house?"
"OK, so a ten gallon drum may have been a bit big but I hate wasting time getting up and down and how was I to know the steps had a weak leg?" I said. "Any way, it worked out all right in the end, all went together."
"Yes if you like your white ceiling to match the walls, floor,doors, fireplace, Chinese rug, Victorian dining table and twelve balloon back chairs." He fumed. "It was like some weird Arctic camouflage scene, just as well you put a vase of flowers on the side board or I would never have found the Gin."
I began typing-
How to hang wallpaper
1. put paste on back of paper on table
2. stick on wall
3. make it look nice
Thought it was maybe too concise so started again- and to add more interest thought I would give instructions on how to paper a ceiling. Then had even more brilliant idea, I would put helpful practical tips in italics!
I'ts been three days and I am still busy perfecting the article but hopefully if I don't leave the house today, I can present to you tomorrow.
2. stick on wall
3. make it look nice
Thought it was maybe too concise so started again- and to add more interest thought I would give instructions on how to paper a ceiling. Then had even more brilliant idea, I would put helpful practical tips in italics!
I'ts been three days and I am still busy perfecting the article but hopefully if I don't leave the house today, I can present to you tomorrow.
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