Where I look like an albino ape ready for a disco

Got a call yesterday from Frank's body shop to say car is ready to collect. you may remember it has been there having a facelift since last week's slight accident with the Coop dairy truck.
When Bee called in to take me along to pick it up, Postman Fred was delivering a parcel. I was most excited as I have been eagerly awaiting the arrival of some goodies from ebay.
"Brilliant, my sweater, it's here, I'll try it on."
Earlier in the week I had been telling Bee about my latest purchases.
"One is an Aran sweater,  details say it's a limited edition, hand knitted in sequence." I said.
"Knitted in sequence, what does that mean?" Bee said.
"Think it means the pattern has sort of a special sequence to the design, you know, where its' repeated in the pattern. You know cables, twisted ropes and what not."
"Hmmm," she said doubtfully "think I'll have to see it."
I unpacked the sweater and dubiously pulled it over my head.
Aaaaargh! it was absolutely massive, dear reader and was not 'knitted in sequence' but was instead entirely 'covered in sequins.' Hundreds of twinkling white ones.  "I wish people could spell correctly." I said to Bee "and when they say relaxed fit and 'one size' they need to be more specific about who the 'one' is."
"In this case their 'one' must be some kind of fashion mad primate," I said, flapping the long sleeves,
"I look like an albino ape."
"It's what you would get  if you were to cross a top worn by a Winter Highland Games participant with a Strictly Come Dancing  outfit." Bee said trying not to laugh, "can't imagine an occasion where you'd actually wear that."
"If only it was 3 sizes smaller," I said rolling up the sleeves,  "it would be the  perfect solution for those occasions when I want to go straight from a day's mountaineering to a disco, without having to bother to go home to change."
"What about the camel trousers you were buying on ebay to go with it?"
"They came yesterday, they were a teeny little bit wide at the bottoms, so I altered them so they're not too baggy." I said pulling them out of the wardrobe. "I had to take quite a bit off as there was acre's of fabric around the hems. 'll try them on to make sure."
"What do you think?" I asked Bee.
"Errm," she says doubtfully "were they supposed to be jodphurs?"