My mother's worried about me following my experience at the job centre yesterday.
"You need a change of scenery, something uplifting and frivolous will do you good, " she says enthusiastically, "and your Dad agree's with me," which she always adds, for extra clout.
She's probably right, when you get excited about a trip to Aldi, you know you need to get out more.
And so this morning, we find ourselves in the cosmetic hall of a large department store, where I am looking for a new lipstick to replace a one I like.
"Heavens that's an old one" immaculate Cosmetic lady, on exclusive French make up counter says, peering at my lipstick.
"I'm amazed the case is in such good condition for its age," she says in wonder, showing it to Cosmetic lady No 2 on same counter, who is immaculate clone of No1.
"Look!" says No2 "you can still see number and colour on bottom," they examine it as if they've just found it on an archaeological dig.
"Definitely before my time." Cosmetic lady No 2 says.
"Nope, we definitely don't have "Passion in Paris" any more, it's discontinued," No 1 says, "we might be able to find you something similar though..."
"How about this one?" No 2 says rifling through the vast display of testers. "I think it's close to your original." "Let's put some on you and see how it looks." says No 1.
"That's nice," Mum says, "good to make sure.'
"Definitely!" I think as lipstick costs about same as three dresses, a coat, two pairs of shoes and handbag in Primark, with change to get pasty in Greg's opposite. However, I have voucher from Christmas which will just cover lipstick, so I don't feel quite as guilty.
Cosmetic lady No 1 sits me in chair, whips off my lipstick and then stands very close to me so she carefully begins to apply new colour,
"Warm in here," I say wishing I hadn't worn tweed jacket, Fair Isle sweater and a flannel shirt (but it looked good on model in Joules catalogue.)
"Yes I suppose it is hot in here, but I keep going hot and cold," No 1 says, coughing chestily, "excuse me," she pauses for a second "but it's my first day back to work."
"Have you been on holiday?" Mum asks.
(I can't talk because Cosmetic lady is now concentrating on filling in my lips and her nose is just about touching mine.)
"No, I've been off ill."
"Oh dear," Mum says.
"I had to come back a bit earlier than I should, we're short staffed. I don't feel a hundred percent but what can you do?" she says, still filling in.
"All better now though, are you?"
"Well it may take a while, wasn't as if I've just had a cold, you know."
"Oh, haven't you?" Mum says.
"Nooooo, I had swine flu just before Christmas, nearly killed me it did."
"Gosh," Mum says, "over a month, that's a long time to be off work even with swine flu."
"No, no," Cosmetic lady says getting right up to my face, so she can touch in the corner's of my mouth, "I wasn't off all that time with the swine flu..."
"Oh, that's good," Mum says brightening.
"...it was the pneumonia that finally did me in, I was in intensive care for nearly a week."
She coughs again, hands me the mirror. "D'you want to see the colour? It's really nice on you."
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