Where even if caller is Satan himself ordering fireside slippers, I say "have a nice day."

Forgot to update you about the job application. You may remember that last week's personality profile and maths test proved to be somewhat of a challenge to say the least and so I wasn't very optimistic about part three, which turned out to be taking orders on the telephone.  Scary robotic lady "office manager" gives you instructions and you have to answer phone on line by clicking responses and deal with virtual "client."  Client may want to do any one of 1,000 things depending on how much time they have to kill and which side of bed got out of this morning, such as place order, cancel order, send order to new address, send 3 items on order back (as not wanted) and keep 2, get v. shirty because order not received yet and order placed this morning, or all of the above.

All information has to be typed onto invoice at roughly 120 words per minute and even if caller a deranged lunatic or even Satan himself ordering fireside slippers, finish conversation with me saying "thank you for call, have a nice day."

Anyway, panicked, got into mess and sent order to wrong address and client got mad, did  a lot of shouting and cancelled order. Another client complained that he had ordered XXXL size Hawaiian shirt and his order printout says  XXXXL "Are you trying to say I need larger size?" He says testily.

Get very flustered  and after hour of test completed, need therapy for post traumatic stress.  I realise it's probably a bit of a shock, but I'm afraid to say I did not get job. The Husband can't believe it keeps saying "how can you fail job to answer phone in your own sitting room., if you worked for the American Government." I imagine there's a few people reading this who might suggest answer to that.
Hmmm, worse had to confess at Job Centre.  James an unemployed graduate who also applied, catches me at door. I blush, tell him result. "Me too," he says "it was an absolute nightmare, failed miserably."
"Have you heard from Dazza?" I say, enquiring about fork lift truck driver, who also took test at same time.
"Yah!" He says raising eyebrow, "apparently he passed with flying colours."

By the way,  "Nessie" back in hiding until next time we see Charlie and Tasha. Diary for summer already filling up as they're getting married in June and parents have 80th birthday bash in August. Hurrah, new dresses and hat required, Also, Bee says our friend Kitty called yesterday and is back from Mediterranean Cruise with her parents. Apparently she has exciting news....Hmmmm