Where my parrot wears furry underpants and I apply for job

9.00am

The owners of girl parrot, a lovely young couple, came to visit yesterday. Unfortunately they did not bring her with them but instead brought lots of photographs of her and she's very cute.  They wanted to meet Monty to see if he would make handsome and well mannered mate and The husband and myself  good adoptive parents. Felt like arranged marriage, with dowry of cuttlefish, peanuts and dried banana slices. Problem is, Monty is not exactly handsome at the moment, as he has been pulling his feathers out. I came down one morning to find he had naked chest and there was a pile of feathers under perch.  He had left a small patch of fluffy down at bottom of his tummy and looked as if he was wearing furry underpants and a sporran. Chest has now grown back in but is sparse and tufty, so he looks more like road kill. Not very promising in the good looks department but maybe she'll be wooed by his charm and repartee. Perhaps sensing the occasion, even the budgies were on best behaviour and not trying to kill each other in their water dish. Monty, who usually never shut's up all day, did not utter a peep until the couple were leaving, when he squawked a rather too enthusiastic 'goodbye.' Don't know whether we made good impression but can only wait until later in the week for news somewhat like job interview.

Talking of which, I'll be back later to tell you about part 2 of job application for "Aspirational".  Not very optimistic after last week's fiasco with part 1, (Bee and myself still debating answers to that questionnaire) this couldn't be any worse. 

Could it?