We are waiting anxiously to meet owners of girl parrot so have five minutes to tell you what I've been up to.
Just between you and me, I went shopping yesterday as I wanted Tupperware box to put cake in for children to take away. Yes, I know what your'e thinking, you can't believe I used the words "want" and "Tupperware" in same sentence, me neither. I blame it on my age, think it's involuntary symptom, same as hot flushes, rogue whiskers and bad temper (not me obviously, how many times do I have to tell you?).
Bee and me have made a pact to grow old dis-gracefully and shoot each other if we turn into grumpy old ladies (more of this later) so dare not tell her of purchase, as she will think I am turning into Senior Stepford wife and reach for shotgun.
More worryingly, I made pilgrimage to Poundland to make thrifty purchase of aforementioned box with Job Seekers Allowance. Even worse, I got excited when I found one with day-glo orange top. Not exactly Cath Kidston but what do you want for £1? Other 'must have's' in store yesterday, included a wine glass that lights up. "Good idea, probably looks like a beacon of hope on top of the coffee table when you're lying indisposed on carpet" said The Husband. They also has battery operated, rapping penguin (I admit, I was tempted), and ABBA blue iridescent eye shadow (sneaked into basket did, not tell The Husband and thought if discovered at cash register, I could deny all knowledge).
Astonished to find we Poundland customers are apparently a well travelled lot. Rummaging through the laden book shelves at back of shop, I came across such titles as "Your Villa in Tuscany," "Shopping Guide to Paris" and "Road Maps of Provence."
They even had some marvellous bedtime reading for your Grand Tour of Europe. Since joining the ranks of the unemployed has seriously curtailed my book buying, I was marvelling at bargains such as "Biography of Louis de Bernieres," "QI Annual with Stephen Fry" and "Coffee with Mozart." when I came across the hardback version of "Little Stranger" by one of my heroes, Sarah Waters.
"I can't believe it," I said outraged, to The Husband, "Why in Poundland? Her books are normally only seen in revered book shops, it's a disgrace!"
Husband rolled eyes,"yes, yes, I get the idea, can we go for coffee now?"
"I'm shocked, it's like... like... seeing our Vicar in Anne Summers." I said stamping foot."what hope is there for rest of us unpublished writers."
"Yes, but do you want blasted book?" Husband said, getting exasperated.
While I continued rant, husband had thrown book in basket and was at already at cash register and sales assistant was putting our purchases into carrier bag. One Tupperware box, a brilliant book and set of mini screwdrivers to fix arm on reading glasses. "Blue ABBA eyeshadow," The Husband said raising eyebrows,
"Must have fallen of rack," I said, taking it out of basket.
"Oh, look at this, it's great, I'm definitely going to get one of these for myself," Sales assistant said as he put the light up wine glass into our bag. The Husband's not mine. Honestly.
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